In Defense of Public Relations

Since joining Twitter less than a year ago (pre-@aplusk), I’ve observed many new words being created using Twitter’s first two letters — TW.  I’ve always had a special affinity towards TW only because it’s the initials of Tiger Woods, but I digress.

The combined letters, T & W, are also used by many Twitter apps like Tweetie, Twitturly, Twitterrific, Twitpic, among many others to show that it’s somehow related to Twitter. Trust me, if you’re a dude hanging out with a bunch of non-twittering dudes, the last thing you want to say is, “I’m tweeting using twhirl & tweetie.” Hey, I get it, it’s a San Francisco company. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

So here’s what I’ve come up with as my very own Twitter glossary of terms or Twitter slang, in short, Twang:

TWIT — One who tweets about everything that happens in their lives no matter how mundane. Sample tweets look like this: Ate at Taco Bell. Took a dump. Flushed toilet. Forgot to wipe ass.

NITWIT — What I’d call Ditzy Boss when DB starts tweeting. Seriously, Twitterers whose tweets indicate their IQ level is in the low double digits.

TWISTED — Tweets that are so insane that you can’t tell whether it’s a joke or if you should be calling 911 maybe even CTU.

TWYCHO — Taking TWISTED a step further. A twitterer whose obviously a perv. Also classified as a twitter stalker. You must immediately remove and block from your follower list. If persistent, call the authorities, or send message to @ev or @biz .

TWIVORCE — Two twitter friends who now have irreconcilable differences. They remove each other from their follow lists, but on occassion, goes directly to the other’s twitter feeds to see what they’re saying. One day, a twitterer will use twitter to serve divorce papers to his/her spouse in under 140 characters.

TWILO — A former hip Manhattan club where many NYC Twitterers used to partay before Twitter was invented. Today the NYC party animals are stuck at home staring at their twitter feeds taking care of the kids they had with their dance partners at the famed Manhattan night club. The only clubbing they do these days is with a golf club.

TWITCHICK — Self-explanatory for dudes, but proceed with caution because twitter profile pics can be enhanced or be an outright fake. Unfortunately, in twitter-verse you can never tell.

CELEBRITWITS — Not to be confused with CELEBUTWANTS like Paris Hilton who tweets as @babygirlparis. These are the celebs on Twitter who showcase their celeb status by only following a select few of their celeb friends while their followed by hundreds of thousands even millions. Many are classified as TWITS and NITWITS judging by their celebri-tweets. See above for definitions.

TWAB — Twitter Acronym Break. Introduced by @joeprguy for active twitterers to stop for a couple of minutes and define acronyms that Joe (aka “Mr. Check Out My Guns”) tweets. I thought it was a pointless exercise at first, but after a few times, I ended up thinking hard to find the right words that would fit perfectly for the acronym. It gets in your head like @oprah.

TWITCH — Means many things. The itch a twitterer gets when Twitter is down for more than a minute like when it’s down for it’s “so-called” maintenance. The witches at your job who’ve joined Twitter. Big (literally) boss nervous tick that throws people off.

TWIX — The official candy bar of Twitter.

I could think of many more, but I won’t have enough space in this post to keep you focused. And the more I think of new ones, the more I sound like my 3yo dudeling who calls his favorite pasta Twortellini.  I’m sure you can come up with others too. Please feel free to share your TWANGS with me.

In recent months, Twitter has been getting so much attention and it’s not just because of its cute little blue bird logo that you see below. Actually, that blue bird can be annoying, but it will grow on you if you stare at it for a couple of hours. And that’s exactly how Twitter is.

tweet tweet

Like many, I was completely baffled why anyone would want to share their thoughts, activities, diet, religion, cars they own, work experiences, personal hygiene, sexual preference, pretty much their entire lives (save for trips to the toilet–c’mon tweeps we gotta draw the line somewhere!) to just anyone and everyone in under 140 characters. It’s hard enough to share our lives each day with friends and family, and now to share them with the universe (twitterverse as I eventually found out) is just plain stupid.

Since I’d try anything once, I decided to give Twitter a chance a few months ago even before Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) discovered it.  I signed up anonymously as prdude and just tweeted away mainly about my life at the PR agency (which shall remain nameless) I work at. It took me less than a day to realize that Twitter does provide a unique service.  It is not stupid after all.

Since that twateful day, when I signed up for my anonymous twitter handle, I’ve tried to define Twitter in my own way.  Here’s what I came up with, and yes, it’s an acronym for Twitter. Corny or creative? You tell me. Honest comments are always welcomed here.

T:   THERAPY. I work pretty much work for an agency that could be classifed as an insane asylum.  It’s not bad at first, but after awhile (in my case, years), you’ll realize you’re becoming crazy.  Twitter has been my therapy to help me through the insanity. And of course the weekly counseling and prescription meds help as well.
W:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Could also be Whazzup? Twitter’s become a place for me to share with people who care about what I say, do and think.  Seriously, there are many of them that do and they don’t work or belong in the insane asylum.
I:    IMPERSONAL. No matter how many times I exchange tweets with those I follow and those who follow me, the way Twitter is set up doesn’t promote real life friendships that’s why tweet-ups like Masquertweet are gaining popularity. It may also be because I am anonymous.
T:   TIME. It takes a lot of time to make Twitter worthwhile, but it’s definitely worth the investment. Not recommended for those who just don’t get it (that would include firmprez who insists that other firmprezes on Twitter have hired guns to tweet for them).
T: TEXT. It takes a lot of practice to deliver a message in under 140 characters.  I avoid the “continued” tweet, which is tweeting the same idea/topic in the next tweet just because of you run out of characters.  No penalty for violating though, it’s simply a personal choice.
E:   ENTERTAINMENT or EDUCATION. No matter what the tweet is, someone in Twitterverse will find it entertaining or educational.
R:  RETWEET. Tweet and Retweet were on a boat. Tweet jumped off, who was left? RETWEET.  This and #followfriday may very well be the most powerful tools on Twitter.  This is how news, ideas, products, etc. can go viral spread fast.  So please RETWEET this post.